I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
