so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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