Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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