im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
