Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
