between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
