so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
