And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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