Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
worst night to have a conscience
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize