i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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