I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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