and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
