is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
