I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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