5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
