NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
