She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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