the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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