I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
