You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize