they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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