I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
