She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
