The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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