He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
