So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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