Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
