EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
