I looked at my own cervix.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
