sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My ass is underappreciated
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize