hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
