So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
