he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
