before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
