my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
