her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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