There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
