Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
