Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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