i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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