Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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