so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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