Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
