Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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