Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
