don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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