ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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