Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
