If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
