he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
