Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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