do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
