6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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