i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
