I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
