god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
