are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
